Conversation can be hard enough on a first date, but the last thing you want is for your discussion topic to be the reason why the date was not a success. What ever you decide to discuss, make sure it’s not all about you. It’s okay to talk a bit about yourself, but try to pay attention and show an interest to your date too. Conversation is very important, so you must show your date that you can hold a decent conversation.
Never talk about your ex partner. Apart from making your date feel uncomfortable, they will assume you still have feelings for your ex and are secretly hoping to get back together. Your date will believe you aren’t ready to move on and will give up on trying to make the date a success. We all have exes and they are exes for a reason, so it’s not a conversation your date would like to share with you.
Money is an uncomfortable topic to discuss. Whether you have loads or not much, no one wants to hear you moan about how skint you are or listen to you boast about how much you earn or have in the bank. The only ones interested in your financial situation are those who aren’t interested in you, just your money. It’s not a good idea to ask your date about their finances or how much they earn; it is intrusive and off-putting. If they are interested in the real you, money won’t matter.
Talking about sex and your sexual encounters on a first date is never a good idea. Apart from scaring your date off, you risk giving off the wrong impression and appear like you’re only after one thing. This is a topic that can be discussed at a future date.
Talking about marriage on a first date is certain to scare your date off. It might be your long-term plan, but mentioning it on a first date certainly won’t make your plan seem realistic any time soon. Dating is all about getting to know someone and enjoying yourself; a first date is far too soon to be planning your wedding together. By talking about weddings and how many babies you’d like to have, you’re doing a good job of ensuring a second date won’t happen.
Always try to stay positive and talk about positive things. Talking about negative things won’t do you any favours, it will bring the whole mood of the date down, therefore try to avoid any sad stories you have. By being positive, your positivity will rub off on those around you and you will show that you are a genuinely happy and secure person.
Never criticise your date; it is unnecessary and upsetting. If there is a part of your date’s life they are self-conscious about, such as their appearance, their job or how they talk, don’t make any pointless comments about it. It’s something they’re fully aware of and you making it an issue really won’t do you any favours. By criticising someone on a first date, whether intentional or not, you can be certain a second date won’t occur.
Never give your date a pet name on a first date. It might seem cute to you, but it’s far too soon and your date will feel they’ve been thrown straight into a serious relationship, not just a fun first date. If you want to make it to a second date, stick to using their real name.
Try not to comment on anyone around you, whether it’s to compliment or laugh at someone. By complementing another person, you aren’t showing any respect for your date and they’ll feel unimportant, especially if you mention how attractive someone is. By heartlessly laughing at others you will come across as being immature and not a very nice person. Keep focused on your date and ignore those around you.
Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 4 years offering help and advice to its members on all aspects of online dating.
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